What constitutes bullying? “Bullying is a type of behavior intended to harm or disturb another person,” Dr. Adler says. “The behavior occurs over time with an imbalance of power in the relationship.” It can take many forms, direct or indirect. “Bullying may be physical – involving hitting or attacking the victim, verbal – involving name-calling or threats, or psychological – involving spreading rumors or excluding the person” from group activities, Dr. Adler explains.
With direct bullying, sometimes it's outright physical abuse in the form of hitting, kicking, tripping or pushing. Indirect bullying can be just as harmful in other ways; it ranges from emotional or psychological bullying to spreading false rumors and cyber-bullying, or using social media sites and/or texting to harass a schoolmate. In either case bullying can have severe consequences.
“Bullying can lead to depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, low or declining academic performance, social withdrawal and school avoidance,” Dr. Adler explains. Targets of bullying often develop signs of psychosomatic illness: “It's where the mind and body intersect,” she says. “Bullying breeds stress, and stress creates symptoms where there is no actual physical disorder. When a child can't admit to being bullied, they can exhibit symptoms.”
The “chronic stressors” inherent in bullying can take a serious toll with added ramifications down the road, Dr. Adler points out. “These stressors can be very debilitating” and result in victims shunning school and associated activities. “The tragedy is that kids miss out on opportunities of childhood and adolescence — learning, playing, and gaining mastery of activities,” Dr. Adler says. “Through these efforts you build self-esteem, and if you avoid school, you miss out.”
Bullying is increasingly viewed as a major contributor to youth violence, including homicide and suicide.
What should parents and school officials look for in discerning between what's acceptable childhood posturing, and pathological victimization? A disturbance in sleep patterns, lower academic performance, social withdrawal, avoiding school, physical ailments such as unexplained headaches or stomach aches, vomiting, weakness, increased doctor visits — they're all signs that bullying may be occurring, Dr. Adler says. “Physical symptoms can be a metaphor for the emotional problems and experiences” associated with bullying, she says.
Dr. Adler states that research indicates that those who bully and are bullied appear to be at greatest risk of experiencing loneliness, trouble making friends, lack of success in school, and involvement in problem behaviors such as smoking and drinking.
According to Dr. Adler, those most inclined to become bullies are children with family factors such as harsh discipline or a complete lack thereof, parents who are abusive, or those who are too lenient or disinterested in their child's progress. Other instigators include peer pressure combined with positive attitudes toward aggression and violence, and children who bully as a way to avoid being taunted themselves or as a way to enhance their power or prestige among their peer group.
Dr. Adler says the most efficacious way to handle bullying is for the victim's parents to contact the parents of the perpetrator. If the bullying persists, approach teachers or school administrators for a resolution. Schools are legally required to have an anti-bullying program in place, as well as a general bullying prevention program. Role-playing with booster sessions can be effective tools in eradicating the problem, Dr. Adler explains.
It's difficult to pinpoint who is most likely to become a victim of bullying, Dr. Adler states. Typically, she notes, it involves children “who lack social skills, are guileless, may be socially awkward, or who have a physical difference” such as being overweight or short. “Lots of kids are bullied,” Dr. Adler says. “None of them deserve it.”
